Bye Bye HEAT!

This week FEELS like fall - finally!  And I can't wait for all of the fall activities we have squeezed in between work/school.  It is the busiest time for our project at work right now and midterms are this week and next.  But just the change in temp makes it all seem better! 

I will miss a few things about summer.  Long daylight hours, fireflies, water fun, more relaxed schedules, and zinnias.  Zinnias always remind me of my grandma.  She planted them in her flower garden every year.  Even though I can't seem to grow them from seed like she was able to do, I buy established plants every year and incorporate them some where in our garden or flower pots.  I think we might have picked the last of our summer zinnias.  Which means mums are just around the corner.  Yay fall!



Summer Zinnias

Home Sweet Home

This weekend I flew out of state . . . for the first time in 5 years . . . without my family . . . and it was awesome!  Ok, so it was really for work.  But for some reason, when I was asked about going to this meeting, I didn't have the gut wrenching "omg" moment where I just wanted to lock myself up in my house with my family and never leave again.  So I think that is progress. 

Disco did some fancy juggling of kiddos and schedules and even the house was still standing when I arrived home.  It looked like a pack of wild monkeys took over while I was gone but I expected nothing less.  And even though I cleaned up a bit at first I eventually created even more mess once I got settled because of unpacked bags, fall decorations, and craft projects.  So today it looks about the same again. :)

I don't anticipate traveling a whole lot on my own.  But it was nice to see that I could do it again.  When I wasn't working I got to watch TV and read books in my hotel room, eat and drink what I wanted, skype with the kiddos, take up the WHOLE bed.  I missed these two little wild monkeys, though!

Simple Pleasures

Yesterday we tried a few more changes in our schedule.  Disco took over the dropoff routine with the kiddos and I got to work about 7am.  What a difference it made!!!  I am a morning person by nature but since we have had kids I have never been able to get "back into mornings."  That was due to a combo of things - staying up late to work or do homework after the kiddos go to bed, late nights with the kiddos (they both tend to be night owls and both still wake up once during the night sometimes), watching TV too late at night, etc.

But getting to work early was great!  We think we might be able to work that schedule out for three days a week. And it allowed me to leave as soon as my class was over in the afternoon.  Big sis was still in after care, but I picked her up earlier than usual.  We then loaded up little man and took off for some gelato.  Everyone hung around the house in the evening and we even got in some dance moves before bath time.  Each kiddo was sweet at bedtime (it really was the normal chaos that is bedtime but it was cute anyway).  Big sis has gotten into this habit of saying "mommy" in an 'i need something else before bedtime kind of voice' and then after I say "yes" she says "i love you".  Too sweet!!!

Schedules will all get worked out eventually - I am just glad we are making some progress adjusting to all of the changes.  I am also thankful for this sweet trio who make me smile on a daily basis!

Changes

When big sis started pre-k we knew we would have to make some adjustments.  Our schedule has not been consistent yet.  My own class and work schedule has been different each week since August. One b/c I am doing an independent study with one other person and there is some flexibility there and three different schedules to coordinate (2 students and 1 instructor).  And two b/c it is the busiest time of year for our project at work. 

Big sis is EXHAUSTED every day she goes to her after care program.  She really likes the kids she plays with and the teachers that guide the program.  And we have been happy so far with her care.  But we can't pick her up by 3:30 every day.  For some reason that is the magic number for her - the days I have been able to pick her up between 2:20 and 3:30 she hasn't been quite as exhausted. 

Last week, I worked out picking big sis up early two days a week. In addition to a less exhausted big sis it also means I get some extra time with little man.  It feels like such a small step but I am hopeful that it will work out for everyone in the long run to have a couple of early days.  This new step also saves us a little cash each month - score!  We just started this new schedule but all 3 "trial" early days have been great so far!

crazy cavities

Today big sis went back to the dentist.  So while big sis was brushing her teeth one last time before we left the house, little man and I were enjoying cereal at the table.  After a few minutes little man noticed big sis was not at the table anymore.  He kept asking "where big sis go?  where big sis go?."  Then his brain registered that we had been talking about brushing her teeth earlier.  So his next repeated comments were "brushin her teef?  brushin her teef?."  I don't know why 2 year olds have to repeat questions about 6 times before they give you a chance to answer . . . but it was kinda cute this morning.  I was finally able to tell him "yes."  His next comment just cracked me up - he said "thads crazay mommay!" and when Disco made it into the room again he told him the same thing.  Not sure why brushing your teeth is crazy but little man just sat there grinning at himself thinking about his funny joke. 


Big sis has been doing so well at brushing her teeth lately that I wasn't the least bit worried today.  Until the dental hygienist was poking around, and around, and around.  She took much longer than last time.  And then she got this little laser pointer out to "check" big sis' teeth.  Not good signs . . . when the hygienist was done she told me that all 4 of big sis' back molars had cavities.  And since she doesn't lose them until she is 12 yrs old we need to do something about it.  Thankfully we have dental insurance - because otherwise each tooth would have cost us over $150!!!!  Big sis took it in stride and as long as they give her pain medicine she said she would come back in November for the first round of fillings.  We are thinking about what "special treats" she will need for this longer appointment . . . definitely new girly sunglasses because they were out of those today at the clinic and she doesn't like the bright lights.  Knowing Disco's and my own dental histories I think our dentist will like having our kiddos come through that clinic . . .

Lucky

An odd talent that I discovered in childhood - finding four leaf clovers.  This picture is for any of you who have never found a four-leaf clover - there are about 20 four-leaf clovers in this patch alone.  You can't see all 20 in this picture but there are a few prominent ones you might be able to spot.  It was a clover patch that made my day!



The greatest clover patch EVER!



Spring Time Silliness

These two kiddos always crack me up when the get together - so silly! 


Say Cheese!





Why aren't you smiling??!!







I don't know . . .



Whatever . . . I'm off to eat CANDY!



Crazy Rabbits!



Egg Hunt . . . in September

More spring time pictures . . . egg hunt at church.  Big sis was really into filling her basket.  Little man was really into filling his belly.  Lots of candy eating and lots of cute pics.  Enjoy!

Easter in September

This week my catch up posts are all about spring.  I LOVED the kiddos' Easter outfits this past year!  Blue and yellow are two of my favorite springtime colors.  A little late, I know, but uber-cute none the less.  Aunt K lets us invade her yard for an afternoon egg hunt each year.  Which I realized recently is a nod to the circle of life since she lives in our grandparents' old home.  The place where she and I and our cousins did a lot of egg hunting in our day.  More pics on the way.  Enjoy!



Big sis and I BOTH have the "girly" picture tilt ;)



Little man on the move!



So sweet . . .





Eggs! Go!

 



CANDY baby!





Make a wish!





Make TWO wishes!



a personal note

It has taken several years of crappy schedules to bring me to a breaking point . . . but here I am.  Last spring was crazy busy with full time school and full time work.  This summer wasn't quite what I had hoped for - I took on a new responsibility and pretty much all the "extra" time I was supposed to have so I could take a "break" was gone.  Again.  And I keep just letting it happen over and over again.

I have been a champion for others to do what they think works best for themselves or their families.  And I have encouraged several friends and co-workers to make some hard choices about their situations/schedules.  But what I have not been able to do was to take the leap and stand up for my own sanity and make some healthy choices that would include positive steps for me and my family.

I am the first to admit that I am not dealing well with all the changes in our world this last month.  And little man being sick in the middle of it all did not help.  My reaction to all of this has been another struggle with depression - as I am sure some of you could guess based on a few comments scattered throughout recent posts.  And I am feeling increased anxiety about work and school.  After 3 weeks of tears I decided it was time to take a different approach.  I sent myself back to therapy last week.

So next steps.  Back to the "empowerment" drawing board.  One thing that I hate is that this will be a process.  No quick fixes.  There are a few steps I plan to take immediately.  And between me and Disco (and my therapist) I hope to work on a game plan to make some positive changes. 

This weekend I had the opportunity to speak with some other moms about their experiences and that was very eye-opening (thanks tallgirl for the support!).  It was good to hear that I am not the only one struggling with balance issues.  And to hear how they approached changes for their own families. 

Tomorrow I'll be back to posting cute pics of the kiddos.  But tonight it was just time to talk a little bit about me . . .

Giggling Green Grass

Ah . . . my absolute favorite pictures from our Colorado trip!  Happy giggling kiddos in beautiful, lush, green grass.  I wish our yard was a inviting as Uncle S's yard.  We are making progress on our own oasis, though.  Less than a year ago we still had construction trash everywhere and the kiddos couldn't even play in our yard.  Now they have a semi-safe place to play with relatively little dog poop and the clubhouse/rocket slide.  Good times!

I am thankful that Disco processed these pics tonight since little man is still pitiful and fighting round 2 of strep throat.  These pics reflect a much happier little man.  Hopeful he will have a better day tomorrow! 

A little delay . . .

Due to little man's return of "the fever" we will be postponing the next photo post.  He seemed a little out of sorts yesterday and we were concerned and then came "the fever."  Doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Big sis is adjusting well to her new situation with only minor issues (extreme exhaustion and lack of focus at the end of the day and a re-newed fear of being in ANY room alone - do you know how many ways that can impact your routine???).  But overall I have to say she is doing really well at the moment. 

The rest of us on the other hand . . . stress city!   Little man is pitiful when his fever spikes and all this illness is really wrecking his routine.  He is unsure of his new routine at school, gets anxious about going to daycare before we even leave the house, and then cries every day when we leave him.  Some days he is just fine after we leave and other days his teacher has commented that he "wasn't his usual self."  We know it is just a phase and that going on vacation, then being sick, then going back to school in a new classroom in a school without his big sis was just too much for our little two year old.  And obviously he STILL isn't 100% since his fever is back.

Little man's repeated illness issues are wearing me and Disco down as well.  It affects our sleep, our schedules (both work and school), and definitely our attitudes.  Both Disco and I are dealing with busy work schedules this fall and getting behind isn't helping either of us.  Plus classes this fall are already kicking my behind.  Teaching is going smoothly so far and the project team I work with is awesome - without those positives I don't know if I would have the energy to even show up every day!

I know these issues aren't big compared to what some of our friends are going through right now - my heart goes out to those strong women (you know who you are).  I know that these things will get better.  I know that I just need to say "NO" sometimes and simplify our schedules.  But sometimes I just want to document the realities of our current lives so that one day I can look back and think "wow, it wasn't really that bad" or "good grief, what was I thinking and how did I survive that".  I'm guessing it could go either way . . .based on my crappy attitude tonight!

Catching up . . .

This week will be all about posting pictures that I haven't posted yet - some of which are from Easter!  I don't know how I forgot about all of those.  Oh yeah, probably because somehow I thought I could manage a full time work schedule, and a full time class schedule, and spend time with my family last spring.  This semester is better, but I am still having a hard time saying "no" to any further commitments.  Sigh . . . will I ever learn how to strike a balance???  The good thing is that I only have two classes this time.  One during the day (sweet!) and one independent study session that meets once a week in the evening. It is so much easier only having one night time commitment. 

Anyway, here are some more Colorado pics :).  My favorites are the ones in Uncle S's backyard with the kiddos and their uncle and grandad.  We just don't have many pics of the kiddos with those guys and it was just a beautiful setting for pics!  More on the way later this week . . .

Rocket Slide!

Disco finished the slide/clubhouse today.  Everyone was so excited!  Now "finished" is a relative term - please don't be alarmed by any safety issues you observe.  Disco is still getting everything in place.  But once the kiddos saw the ladder was finished and an attached slide there was NO STOPPING them!  It's gonna be a fun weekend outside - the weather is beautiful already.  Yay fall!

Rain Gear

New rain jackets and boots from GaGa.  The kiddos love any excuse to put them on and splash in puddles!  If only we were getting enough rain these days . . .

Smiles

A happy kiddo - we love to see that around here!